I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
