i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
