No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
