You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
