:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
