this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
