Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
