Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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