She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
