shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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