Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
