Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
should my penis look like a turkey
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
