remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
