you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
