I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize