Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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