I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize