My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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