That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize