Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
