I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
