Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your cock deserves a montage
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
