i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
