This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why are your pants in the freezer?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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