I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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