My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
