Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
