i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
