I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
