thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
