U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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