I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
