yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
