My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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