so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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