SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
