well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
