I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this hospital has no fireball
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
