Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Randomize