Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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