when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
