I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
