Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
