Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
