Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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