And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize