ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
