some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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