Slut skills are useful in every country.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
