dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
