Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
