? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
