NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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