You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
