it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
