Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
