Your face is a jimmy john
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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