sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
