My nipple is on Facebook.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
