dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
