Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
