Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
