Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
