through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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